This looked easy.

Well, it’s just you.

And we know why you’re here and all.

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I sat in the woods for twelve hours yesterday. And I never felt better. But next time I’ll try it without the beer.

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Sugaring is a mindset. And I have downloaded it.

See:

1. Count.
2. Ponder.
3. Watch.
4. Re-count.
5. Re-ponder.
6. Re-watch.

Dude, I think I’ve got it.

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Today I became a student again. Yep, after dropping out of college with one course to go in 1986 (University of Iowa), I found myself sitting in a classroom once again today. But this time – today, that is – I was studying something far better than political science: post and beam construction.

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A man I once knew approached me today. He was nervous. He fidgeted more than I like to be around fidgeting, if you know what I mean. I think he was sweating, too, even though it wasn’t hot. Not even warm, in fact. But I can’t be sure. If he was sweating, that is. Because he made me too nervous watching him be so nervous that I lost track of who was watching whom be nervous.

“Tools,” he said, plaintively. “The secret is in the tools.”

Of course.

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This year’s best death-rock band is now featuring Jim Carroll, Vic Chesnutt and Mark Linkous (see Sparklehorse video below). As Carroll would sing, “ they were all my friends, and they died.” Musically speaking, they were. And they did. Damn it.

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And, for some reason, this song was going through my head all day long. No, make that: All. Day. Long:

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They said if you keep smiling while you say, “Vermont,” you could stay longer.

So many rules. But all in the name of: Self-love.

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Note to Deb Markowitz: That opening speech was dreadful. You seem more interested in being something that someone – or many someones – wants you to be. Worse, you’re apparently not very good at being that someone. So stop. And just be yourself.

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That’s all, folks.