A Beautiful Day (or: Today)

There are people all over Vermont getting nervous about tonight, primary night. But I don’t want to hear any of their shit. Not. A. Word. Because while they might be all nervous about someone named Shumlin, Racine or Markowitz, (you know, people with a chance), I’ve been forced to host a primary-night gathering for Mr. Boots Wardinski.

It’s simple enough, really. I mean, it will be Boots, his sometimes-willing partner, Chris, and…and…my family. Trust me, if we didn’t live here, we wouldn’t be joining the party either.

But Boots wanted a party. Or, more accurately, Chris wanted Boots to having something to do on primary night, so Boots decided on a party. At my house. Surprise, surprise.

It gets worse. Boots has a strict bedtime. Which is why he clearly announced in his proclamation for a primary party at my house that he would be leaving when the polls close.

Let me repeat that for those of you not paying attention: Candidate Boots want to – no, make that, is having – a party in my home tonight to celebrate the end of his primary race for lt. governor and he will be leaving before the first votes have been counted. Um, that would be 7:00 pm.

“But you can carry on,” Boots continued.

Cool. Thanks. It will almost be like I’m at home.

And so it goes for those of us connected to Vermont’s political elite. What can I say, we have connections. We host the players. We roam the pastures of power. It is who we are. Deal with it.

And then we realize we’re home. And we go to sleep.

Ah, primary night in Worcester.

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Sorry, Mom, I forgot to take out the trash (again).

–

Wait. This just in: Twelve-dozen ears of corn met their freezer-bound fate today in Worcester. A man and his daughter rejoiced in the farm-y-ness of it all. Well, the man did. The daughter seemed like she was on one of those obligatory trips to the senior center. But it was what it was to each.

Good enough for me.

–

Wait, did I say twelve dozen? Fuck.

I need a job.

–

And then six quarts of edamame met the same freezer fate.

Hire me now.

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This day shall be called: Insanely beautiful.

And I’m glad to say that I enjoyed it.

So far.