A Random Break in the Silence

Oh, hi. I didn’t know you were still here. I’ve been upstairs rearranging the things I like to rearrange from time to time in preparation for change. I’ve done it so often now that it basically amounts to moving the boxes from one side of the room to the other. But with each move, I exhale in that all-too-satisfying way that says: Got it done.

And so it goes.

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In my spare time I’ve been playing a little game of political make-believe. I pretend, for example, that everything I read, watch or listen to about the upcoming election is being done with a supreme sense of irony. Everything, it seems, is a mere tryout for a Saturday Night Live skit or a John Stewart monologue. Nothing is real. Tragedies are funny. And if you don’t at least act like you get the joke, the joke is on you. Get it?

If that doesn’t work, my little game of political make-believe takes me to the realm of pretending everything I read about politics and the election is being written by either Samuel Beckett or Albert Camus. It’s not news, it’s high-minded literature.

Consider, for example, Camus’ extensive writing on Sarah Palin’s wardrobe. It’s brilliantly existential. Did she buy the clothes yesterday or today? He can’t remember. But it matters, and it matters deeply. He just can’t remember why or how.

And I love how Beckett keeps penning pieces about how much longer we have to wait until the election arrives. It’s soon. It’s far away. It’s coming. It’s going. And we’re all just waiting. And waiting. November 5th will be a very empty day, indeed, for those believing in either Messiah. But, hey, there’s always 2012 for those who want to keep waiting. Send your checks now!

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Lately, it felt like every time I sat down to address you, dear readers, I would stumble onto something on the Internet that made it all feel pointless. Consider, for example, these words from Andrew Sullivan:

As I said on Chris Matthews this morning, this race has tightened a bit already and will probably tighten again. But it is also possible that the race could widen, and defy the final polls – in Obama’s direction.

Got it? In case you didn’t get it, let me summarize: Up is down; yes is no; a win is a loss; and blog pundits have too much time on their hands.

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As for Vermont politics, it’s now official that Democratic candidate for governor, Gaye Symington, has been running the worst political campaign ever. In a year that should amount to an easy win by a Democrat to unseat the Bush-loving current Republican, Jim Douglas, Symington has put forward a campaign that is so awkward, bumbling and ineffective that she’s about to be passed in the polls by Vermont’s favorite all-time-political-loser, Anthony Pollina. Ouch.

The breathless hand-wringers over at Green Mountain Daily have been busy picking over the dead carcasses of both the Symington and Pollina campaigns and remain seemingly oblivious to the dark comedic quality that both are about to get their political asses handed to them by the right-wing Douglas. Wow, such passion for the right to finish second!

From my perspective, the worst part of Symington’s inept campaign is that it is breathing life into Pollina’s same old, same old, same old campaigns. Pollina, for example, is practically dancing in the streets over the fact that the latest statewide poll has him at 23%, just behind Symington’s 24% (Nevermind, of course, that Douglas has 48%.). I guess when you’ve been a loser for that long, a close third is something to celebrate. Whatever.

There’s no question both Symington and Pollina will lose. But the mainstream pundits are already putting their bizarre spin on what the losses will mean for both of them. Eric Davis, the political scientist from Middlebury College who rarely veers from the blatantly obvious, told Radio Vermont listeners yesterday that a Symington loss could most assuredly spell the end of her political career as a “viable statewide candidate.”

For argument’s sake, I’ll accept his great punditry wisdom on that account. But why, then, hasn’t the same ever held true for Pollina? This will be Pollina’s fourth major drubbing at the polls in a statewide race – never having received over 25% of the vote – and yet pundits like Davis never even come close to putting him in the same political coffin they so eagerly have placed previous statewide losers like Racine, Rainville, Clavelle, and, yes, even Tarrant (all of whom, by the way, secured more votes than Pollina ever has).

Sorry, but I just don’t get it.

If Symington is declared politically dead by her upcoming loss, Pollina must do the right thing and join her at the funeral. Unfortunately, that’s about the best we can hope for when it comes to the liberal/left fusion this year.

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In real life, I’ve been preparing for a winter of horse logging. I’ve been lining up jobs, getting my trusty horse, Big Jim, in shape, and looking for a potential teammate for the big fella. So far, so good – on all fronts. The jobs are lined up, Big Jim is looking fine, and I’ve finally convinced Boots to let me bring his new Percheron, Bart, to my place to work with us. In other words: All systems go.

If you’ve got land in central Vermont in need of some cutting or thinning, contact me soon via email at: mcolby@broadsides.org.

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Speaking of horses (and all animals, for that matter), now’s the time to be thinking about them. In my recent travels to find a new horse, I’ve bumped into a number of scenarios that clearly indicate that in these tough economic times the animals are hurting, too. With hay prices reaching $4.00 a bale, there are numerous “free horses” out there. And it’s no great leap of logic to realize that when people can’t feed themselves adequately, they’re not going to be feeding their animals adequately.

If you can take an animal in, do it. If you can help someone – or some group – feed an animal or two or three this winter, do it. They had nothing to do with the economic calamities facing us. They only get to suffer the consequences.

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Dismissed.