AWOL (Or: What I have in Common with the Democrats)

Oops. I forgot about you. Yeah, you. And you. And you, too, the one hiding behind the cubicle hoping your boss doesn’t realize you’re visiting derelict sites during business hours. Pathetic.

I’ve been busy horsing around, homeschooling a child who has clearly bypassed my sass-ability, planning the new sugaring operation, and playing host to a mentor who had nowhere else to go (it’s a long story – each of them).

Oh yeah, I’ve also been finalizing my collection of Jerry Salinger (J.D. to you) stories. It’s taking me longer than I thought to merely pull together all the notes, notebooks and various correspondence that we shared over the last twenty years that we called each other “neighbors.” Jerry was odd that way. Distance wise, that is. But what we shared was, indeed, special, and I’m looking forward to pulling it all together and sharing it with you all soon. As Jerry would say, “Be patient.” I loved that about him.

As for politics, things look and feel quite the same: Republicans are retarded (thanks, Sarah, for allowing me to say that!). And Democrats are spineless (thanks, Democrats, for making it easy for me to say that!). Ho-fucking-hum.

Take Vermont, for example, where our nuclear power facility – the Vermont Yankee — is hemorrhaging radioactive tritium into the groundwater and the super-majority-Democrats are throwing pseudo-tough-talk around but avoiding any and all action. You know, kind of like Obama and health care.

My favorite little Democratic-fraud-of-the-moment is the leader of Vermont’s Senate, Peter Shumlin, a man who is also seeking to be our state’s next governor. As a candidate, Shumlin’s saying things like, “If there was a vote today on whether or not to extend the license of the Vermont Yankee I would vote ‘no.’” But as the president of the Vermont Senate, he’s refusing to do what he could do in a heartbeat: Call for the vote on whether or not to re-license the Vermont Yankee. Good fucking grief.

But the Democratic cheerleaders keep letting this dizzying cycle of nonsense continue and continue and continue. You know, the cycle that goes like this: Swoon to the rhetoric during campaign season and then shrug your shoulders when these same masters of false promises prove while governing that they were …well… full of shit. Think: Obama and health care/Guantanamo/stopping the wars, etc.

You’d think the saps who pull the Democratic lever every two or four years would have learned by now that they’re only getting their chains jerked in return. Can you say: Suckers. I knew you could.

But, let me be fair (wait, is this a first?). There’s one Vermont Democrat who deserves a shout-out for his good verbiage and commitment to the words he utters: Rep. Tony Klein of East Montpelier. As the chairman of the House Natural Resources and Energy Committee, Klein’s been kicking ass and taking no prisoners when it comes to his rubber hitting the road approach to Vermont Yankees’ malfeasance. Bravo to you, Mr. Klein, especially for this little gem of a quote in today’s Times Argus:

“The people who are in government, and part of their role is to protect the public…need to really start seriously thinking about doing their jobs and not worrying about what corporate America thinks.”

Did you hear that, Senator Shumlin? Call the vote. Now. Or shut up about it. Now.

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See, it’s much better when I play with horses.

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Speaking of horses, it’s off to Stowe for Valentine’s/President’s Day sleigh rides for me. I know, I know, when you think Valentine’s/President’s Day, you think: What can Colby offer me? What can I say, I have that affect on people. Not.

But, hopefully, I’ll fool enough tourists into thinking I really do care about their visit to Stowe. Long enough, that is, to shamelessly pocket that gracious tip. Can you say: No shame? I knew you could. Because while you’re saying that, I’m saying: Bills to pay.

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Thanks for playing.