By Michael Colby
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Oh Great! Another music video. I get so sick of coming to these political blogs and having to actually READ all this depressing shit about Injustice, Capitalism and War. There’s more to life than Injustice, Capitalism and War. There’s music videos. There’s You Tube…hey, I got an idea. Mr. Colby, can you put an ebay window up so I can shop while I listen to the music you post on this site? Why it would be almost like going to the Mall. And how about a little porn while you’re at it. I mean REAL PORN, not that Injustice, Capitalism and War porn. I’m gonna tell all my friends about your wonderful politics-free blog. It’s about time somebody figured out what Americans really want from the Net. Tell that Buknatski guy he’s full of shit.
I object to the use of the word MORON! I have been working hard with a Network here to rid the English language of the R word, and now this! So many bad words being used.
I wish I could program a computer to list and then delete all objectionable words from our vocabulary and consciousness. The way they did it in that story THE NINE MILLION NAMES OF GOD. Except the world won’t come to an end, but, instead, we’ll have World Peace and Civility. Wars are started when people start calling other people names, like Nazi, or Dictator, or Douche-bag. If people are ‘challenged’ in some way, then that’s what you should say. For instance, that IMF guy–say he’s, well, Romantically Challenged. My brother-in-law got sent over for repeated B&Es. He was Spatially Challenged. Instead of calling people names, we need to form more Support Groups. I go to several Support Groups every month. Instead of making fun of people on this blog, you should form a BROADSIDES SUPPORT GROUP. Perhaps Mr. Colby has some Elevator or Doctor’s Office music videos he can post while you interact and network to rid the world of Hate and Bigotry through Sustainable and Diverse dialogue on how much better the world would be if we simply were more tolerant of other people’s Challenges.
Personally, when I read some of the comments on this blog over the last few months, I feel like I’m being attacked. Why are you attacking me? What did I ever do to you? Who the fuck are you, anyway? Does your Mother know what you’re doing? Or is she just a whore, too busy out fucking homeless bums all night to care about the damage you’re doing to our society on this blog? I’ll bet she does it for free too. And your father? He must be the worst kind of degenerate to teach you all those bad words. I’ll bet he’s some kind of dumb Polack from Secaucus, N.J. Talk about Challenged. And your little sister and your girlfriend too. And everybody you’ve ever known, and all the people reading this now.
Jesus. You see what you’ve started? Now people will come to this blog with the vilest comments about midgets doing it with little children, and nuns going all the way with Big Black Rap Singers on stage in front of everybody. All because you want to get rid of the nice music videos here and replace it with the worst kind of Politically Incorrect discussion and name calling your Morally Challenged being can come up with. I’m going to Daily Kos now because I can’t take any more of this. You dirty sheep-fucking lowlife scum! You see what you made me say? Oh God. You’ve undone all the hard work and programming I’ve gone through in the past 10 years since I moved to Vermont and began Networking with the good people who would some day elect me to the Burlington City Council as a Progressive so I could come up with ‘Behavioral Ordinances’ to keep people like you in line. Sonofabitching Whorebastard!
But I still have friends in the Prog Party and the Peace Movement. Have you ever been tied down and burnt with candles while people sing “Give Peace A chance?” And have a little old lady talk to you about Abolishing Nuclear Weapons while another little old lady reads the complete texts of Bernie Sanders’ speeches on the House and Senate floors? Your name-calling days are over, Fuckface! We’re out here. Right in the town you live in. And we have power. I’ll be coming for you.
BECAUSE I CAN!
(We don’t care who we kill, even our own sons and daughters. Party! What a piece of shit country!)
Memorial Day
a bloody hamburger
smoke from the grills
the game on channel 3
beer cans in the park
a politician grins
children scream
traffic piles up
radios go ballistic
stores have sales
the three day party
yes I remember you
seen your face before
belly up at Betio
numbed out in the Nam
blown to little pieces
over the decades
so all Americans equally
could have this day off
there’s these parades
the kiddies love them
someone is selling flags
an ambush in Afghanistan
we hope it won’t rain
you hope it won’t hurt
when they take off your leg
to ship you home on crutches
thanks for everything
we honor and salute you
it was worth dying for
just look at all that food
This just in…
“Montpelier Police Cite Blogsite Owner With Abandonment”
Montpelier Police today issued a citation to Michael Colby to appear in court this July on charges that he allegedly has ‘abandoned’ hundreds of Vermonters who have depended on him, through his blog, BROADSIDES, for vital ‘critical thought and political analysis’ of state and national issues.
This charge is the first use of a new federal/state Internet law which holds blogsites “responsible to their readers and to the general public welfare in not creating a situation that allows a ‘vacuum of information’ to be filled by the venting and ravings of a disgruntled readership, thereby also creating a forum for the enemies of the United States, under the guidelines of the federal Patriot Laws.
If convicted, Colby could face a stiff fine or confinement for seven years in a ‘high security mansion’ somewhere in Pakistan.
Colby, when asked to comment said: “See my next music video post. This is a Liberal Fuck conspiracy to persecute me, like Assange. These videos are about Revolution. Ain’t you ever heard of The Black Panthers? I’ll be posting their new CD.”
Montpelier Police could not comment, as all of them were busy dealing with a ‘terrorist prostitution and panhandling ring’ believed to be involved in raising funds in the state capitlal for homeless and disabled terrorists to buy a seven million dollar mansion to host an “International’ music video blog.
We will update this story, when and if we feel like.
We now return you to “This Week In Music Videos.”
Spend all my creative juices to log into broadsides.
You know, coming up with new names, email addresses and having to know the Anti-spam word.
Ah, so typically. The bad guy. Because I can.
Some just can’t get enough of the wisdom of MC (Michael Colby)
They suffer withdrawal symptoms
Having been able to project their goals and dreams on the guru mc who gets his fame by trying to be unique, different. Since he is mostly silent those mc addicts suffer greatly.
They beg him, how can you do that to us?
He says, Because I can.
I wish I could help you to live your own life
But I can’t. Having a hard time living my own.
We’ll be meeting at Kellogg-Hubbard Library tomorrow evening. Our topic: “Is Michael Colby Dead?” Bring drugs. To us, who don’t have lives, he is more than a guru. He’s like what Dennis Hopper said in APOCALYPSE NOW: “I mean, he’s the man now. He’s the thing. You don’t just talk to him, you listen. And the thing, the man, the being, it’s like, you know man, he’s like a chair hit you over the head, and he made it happen, man, because of his thing, man. This thing he has, it’s like a spiritual thing, a beautiful thing, a thing you can’t put your hands on, man, because he’s the man AND the thing all at once, man, but they’re not really there, only this spirit, man, this like fucking oneness of man and thing, and what do you say, what do you do, man, with a thing like that, man. I mean, like man, you can only hold your breath, man, and hope the man, the thing, the whole beingness and unbeingness takes hold and you go places, man, like on some cosmic trip through a blogginess where every tiny cell and molecule of thingness is all around and not around all at once. I mean, man, what can you say to that? What can you do, man? You don’t, man. You don’t mess around with this thing, man. Because you don’t do, he does, he is, the thing and the man and I don’t know what, man. You understand? Do you fucking comprehend. Man.”
“Michael Colby. He dead.”
“The horror. The horror.”
Okay,
I dare to go out on a limb…….
What is our current economy based on?
Consumption and activity.
The more activity, the more consumption.
Now, managers are rewarded by how many sales they make, how much profit.
What is in the way of making maximum profit? Laws and regulations.
So, the manager who finds ways to circumvent those ‘obstacles’ can sell more.
The manager who functions within the rule is doomed. That’s what’s wrong.
The problem is that this economic model is based on the assumption that there are endless resources.
Yes, resources are endless but not any specific one. You know, like oil, food, space on earth, etc.
What is needed is an economic model where the emphasis is on regeneration.
Or recycling.
And of course to live within our means.
.
“At last we have in the above comment a glimmer of Broadsides as it once was, wherein the critical thought process is applied.
My brothers and I had hoped someone would come forward with something, although we had in mind to offer our bag of roadkill as a last resort. We were almost driven to presuppose. Now our itch has been scratched.
Thank you.”
We miss mz too. Much love.