Between Hope and a Hard Place

After the Barack Obama election they said the “hard work” was about to begin. And they said it again yesterday after the Inauguration. But no one’s asked me to do a damn thing. Worse, I don’t see anyone doing anything but walking around starry-eyed and shedding tears for some still-too-vague-to-understand notion of “hope.”

In fact, if you even ask the Obama worshipers to engage in activism right now they look at you like you just farted in church. Get that stench away from thee…

All praise Obama. Whatever.

No wonder Obama gave the speech he gave at his Inauguration. Yeah, you know what I mean: The toned down and push it back in our laps kind of speech that all but screamed: Get a clue, people.

Obama’s no dummy. He’s now getting the inside news on our nation’s military adventures and the economy. As a result, he clearly sees the mess we’re in and now he’s trying to talk the masses down from Hope Mountain.

I half expected him to drag Bob Dylan up to the podium to belt out a crusty old version of “It Ain’t Me Babe.” In case you forgot, it goes like this:

It Ain’t Me, Babe

Go ‘way from my window,
Leave at your own chosen speed.
I’m not the one you want, babe,
I’m not the one you need.
You say you’re lookin’ for someone
Never weak but always strong,
To protect you an’ defend you
Whether you are right or wrong,
Someone to open each and every door,
But it ain’t me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain’t me, babe,
It ain’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe.

Go lightly from the ledge, babe,
Go lightly on the ground.
I’m not the one you want, babe,
I will only let you down.
You say you’re lookin’ for someone
Who will promise never to part,
Someone to close his eyes for you,
Someone to close his heart,
Someone who will die for you an’ more,
But it ain’t me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain’t me, babe,
It ain’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe.

Go melt back into the night, babe,
Everything inside is made of stone.
There’s nothing in here moving
An’ anyway I’m not alone.
You say you’re looking for someone
Who’ll pick you up each time you fall,
To gather flowers constantly
An’ to come each time you call,
A lover for your life an’ nothing more,
But it ain’t me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain’t me, babe,
It ain’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe.

See what I mean? Besides, it would have been much better than the dreck we had to endure at the pre-Inaugural Lincoln Memorial concert. Garth Brooks? Are you kidding me? And Bon Jovi? Please. He was bad enough when he tried to sing as a stupid, white guy. But he’s simply intolerable while trying to be black.

But I digress. Music will do that to me.

Right now, the masses stuck on Hope Mountain just want to buy the next great Obama paraphernalia piece. I heard from those in attendance yesterday that they were selling everything from Obama sandals to Obama underwear at the Washington Mall. Yes, indeed, it was a mall. It was America, and everything was for sale – including your dreams, my friends.

But what about that hard work? Phooey. Who farted?

Again, Obama’s no dummy. He knows that it’s one thing to talk about all of us “taking responsibility,” but quite another to be specific about what responsibility means.

Notice, for example, that in his very forgettable little hot-potato speech he tried to throw the flaming vegetable back in our laps with nary a concrete suggestion about what “taking responsibility” meant. How very Ronald Reagan-like of him, huh? No wonder even the Fox News dunces were even admitting to inaugural tears. Ew.

Here’s a test: Name the one word that was not uttered yesterday that is usually (and logically) uttered when speaking about “democracy and responsibility”? Time’s up. The answer: Taxes. Imagine that.

Or, better yet, imagine the “outrage” from those in the “mall” who, while buying their Obama underwear, would be told that raising their taxes in this economically disastrous time was part of the new responsibility package. Can you say: One term? I knew you could.

Remember, there’s not much oxygen on Hope Mountain.

Besides, the people closest to him on that vaunted inaugural podium (millionaires, all of them) we’re the people who truly had his ear. And so Obama spoke, facing the masses but ever so mindful of the elite few ready and ever-so-willing to plunge the political dagger in his back if he so much as mentioned the most obvious solution to our economic troubles: Tax those with the money to buy the seats behind him.

And so Obama walked….the plank….between the masses in front of him and the elites behind him, seemingly saying nothing but “It Ain’t Me Babe,” hoping that he wouldn’t be crushed by either encroaching force.

Come on, honey, let’s get out of here and dance the night away….