Okay, okay I was a bit bored last night and went fishing around the Internet waters looking for some inspiration. I tried to be a modern American man and watch the World Series but found the pace, the commentary and the commercials over the top on the obnoxious scale. It was the live interview with the CEO of Taco Bell that put me over the edge. Yep, right in the middle of the game they went to one of those dopey “roving reporters” in the stands who was with the taco magnate to announce that – get this – since one of the players stole a base, their corporation would be giving away free tacos from 2 to 5 pm next Tuesday. What the fuck? If anyone can explain the connection between theft and free tacos, please let me know. Adios tacos and game, and off I went to the other glowing box in the house – the one with the stylish little apple on it.
First stop: The Hill, where I learned what I always learn when I poke around the political haunts of the Internet. Yep, the Dems are lame. Been there, done that. But this commentary was coming from the Dems themselves. Ah, the navel gazing of it all! The piece, “Internal Dem Memo Faults Party Message,” begins with these obvious words:
Democrats are losing the battle for voters’ hearts because the party’s message lacks emotional appeal, according to a widely circulated critique of House Democratic communications strategy.
Here they go again, focusing on the message and forgetting all about their actions. Sure, the message matters but what really gets the voters all hot and ready to actually pull your lever is a little follow through, you ninnies.
These poor Dem strategists just keep imitating only half of the Republican Party’s playbook: the message part. But then I can only imagine the looks on their faces when they turn to chapter two of the playbook and see that the Republicans’ idea of “supporting the troops” means that we arm them to the teeth and flirt with World War Three in the naked pursuit of world domination. And have you noticed, class, that they’re following through?
“Oh shit,” I can hear them say, “we can’t do that.” And so it goes, the Dems co-opt the “support the troops” message and have absolutely no clue about where to go with it other than bumble and fumble amongst themselves. Which, of course, leads them directly to where they are now: holding political majorities but doing absolutely nothing of substance with the power. The Dems’ pursuit of power is kind of like that poor dog that chases cars. Sooner or later, the dog catches the car and…splat. All that work for nothing. Bummer.
The piece in The Hill also uses the word that is almost always used when describing today’s Dems: nervous. And, of course, it involves them being “nervous” about another fight with President Bush over more war funding. But, I’m sorry, if they’re nervous over going to battle with a president as lame as this one on an issue that nearly everyone agrees with them on, there really is no hope for them.
Taste this excerpt from the piece in The Hill:
He cited Democrats’ frustration over the likely showdown with President Bush over supplemental spending for the Iraq war. Democrats are discussing not sending a supplemental spending bill to the floor until Bush changes course on the war. But that makes many Democrats nervous that Bush will use the tactic to say Democrats aren’t supporting the troops.
When’s the last time you heard a Republican described as nervous before a political fight? That comes from knowing that you’ve got a message and a course of action that gives you confidence. Sure, it’s usually bat-shit crazy but they sure as hell aren’t nervous about it. Reckless? Sure. But not nervous.
But my favorite part of The Hill’s piece on the memo comes when they quote an anonymous Dem aide who declares that the memo probably won’t be widely read anyway. Why?
But he also noted that the number of the memo’s readers might have been limited by the fact that the memo was a long attachment, which makes it less likely to be read by BlackBerry-wielding aides.
Oh great. They’re nervous AND stupid.
[Stay tuned for more Friday random blogging.]
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