These Days.

Sorry, my mind – and life – took a detour.

One minute you’re searching and the next minute you’re not.

For a job, that is.

But I found it. I think.

I’ll provide the specifics when I can.

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I obtained Jonathan Franzen’s “Freedom” today.

And, no, I didn’t get it because Oprah has now recommended it. Ugh.

Franzen fans will know the deep irony in Oprah coming back to the Franzen trough. Because it was Franzen who thought he had burned his Bridge to Oprah with his scathing essay, “Meet Me in St. Louis,” which chronicled Team Oprah’s attempts to hyper-mass-mediate his previous book, Corrections.

Who knows, maybe some of the ladies who recently won the free trip with Oprah will read it. So it’s not all bad.

Let the reading continue.

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I was on the phone ordering a horse-drawn sleigh yesterday. Oops, there goes my job secret. And the fine woman from the Quebec sleigh and carriage-making company was reading me the options on the sleigh designs.

“And we have the extra-wide option on the seats,” she offered in her thick French accent.

I chuckled, and then quipped about the obesity in The States.

It was all the opening she needed.

“You know what?” she said more than asked. “The only time we’ve sold the ‘extra-wide’ option is when it’s going to the U.S. And it’s usually Texas.”

Priceless.

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Oh, and by the way, I ordered the regular seat. Fuck ‘em.

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Wait. Did someone say, “sleigh rides”?

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It’s a good time to checkout of the political world. It is most certainly the silly season. The Republican idiots are screaming what they always scream and the Democratic idiots are cowering and otherwise fighting amongst themselves. Ho-hum.

It all reminds me of playing that original video game, Pong. Especially when I’d get both paddles really close to the middle and marvel at how fast the ball bounced between them.

I’ve decided it’s a really good time to stop reading mainstream political blogs. It’s all just “yay us!” stupid shit.

No thanks.

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Speaking of “yay us” stupid shit, the chief half-wit at Green Mountain Daily, Sir Odum, is excited about his “1000 People for Change” campaign that got 240 people to join. Yes, out of about 650,000 Vermonters, Odum got 240 to promise to “change” with him. And, in case you’re keeping track at home, that’s 760 fewer than his goal.

It gets better.

Because the only “action” associated with this campaign involved the mighty checkbook. Yep, the single mission of this group was to get all 1000 members – oops, make that 240 members — to send $100 to the winner of the Democratic Party’s gubernatorial primary.

And the winner of the primary? The man who just announced he was worth more than $10 million, Peter Shumlin.

Yeah, change agents, just keep sending him those checks. And while they’re at it, why don’t they send some money to John Kerry too.

The good news is that there are at least 649,760 Vermonters smart enough to know a stupid idea when they see one.

I love being in the majority. Yay us!

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Speaking of Vermont politics, consider these goodies being served up by a couple independent candidates here in the Green Mountain State.

Here’s the money quote from Marijuana Party candidate, Cris Ericson:

I AM CONCERNED ABOUT THIS BECAUSE I HAVE HAD BACK SURGERY, ANKLE SURGERY, OTHER SURGERY AND I HAVE A SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED CONTAGIOUS DISEASE; AND IF ANYONE ASSAULTS ME LIKE SHE CLAIMS SHE WAS ASSAULTED, THEN THERE IS A POSSIBILITY THAT BRIAN DUBIE’S PEOPLE COULD CAUSE MORE HARM THAN THEY INTEND IN INTIMIDATING FEMALE CANDIDATES.

The all-caps feature was Ericson’s idea, not mine.

It almost makes me want to run back to the two-party duopoly. And fast.

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I waited two weeks for the basement waterproofing specialist we hired last year to – um – waterproof the basement to come check the new water we have in the basement. He finally arrived last night.

“Yep, that’s water,” he told me with his flashlight illuminating the water in the dark.

This guy’s good.

As for fixing it? He’ll be getting back to me.

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Thanks for playing.